Before the year ends

It's funny to think about New Year when Christmas hasn't passed yet. This year has bring nothing but good and bad memories and moments. The best was passing thesis defense, and the worst was...all the nights spent writing our thesis. Damn! I just realized that 2011 was wasted with thesis moments. So I decided to make a self list of year-enders. Just to make 2011 memorable.

1. Kiss a stranger

Yes. I know. Sounds bitchy. But believe it or not I've never really kissed anyone aside from my boyfriend and exes. I just wonder how it feels like to kiss someone you don't have any relationship with. Exciting!

2. Have a "blissful" moment

If you know what I mean. :)

3. Have a 10 new friends.

I'm not a friendly person. So, this is very challenging.

4. Get a new hair style

5. Learn to dance the Dougie

Count the people you can count on

I've abandoned the art of blogging a long time ago. I saw it as a form of therapy that helps you unleash your thoughts, and feelings. Well, that is what I'll be doing now. This is not a happy post but a sad realization.

Last night, my "so-called" friends and I were celebrating for passing the thesis defense. We were at the moment of bliss. Alcohol, music and friends. 3 things that creates a powerful drug. I was feeling a little bit tipsy. Living far from school, the LRT is my clock. It closes at 9 pm so I have to get to the station before 9. I was planning to escape the scene at 8:30 pm with Vic and Angelene. But there were others who promised me that they will take me home. So I stayed (which was the most stupid thing to do).

After 2 hours of never-ending laugh trip, we decided to eat. I was saying Yes to everything because I know they'll stick with me until the end but I was wrong to think that. They had other plans in mind, and I don't like ruining other people's plan. One of them wanted to get drunk EVEN MORE and the other is waiting for a ride home from her ex-boyfriend. So here I was, left with no choice but to go home. I wanted to go home already. I told them I'm gonna be okay, and they kept on asking me If I can go home by myself, Come on girl! SINCERITY doesn't end with a question of Care. I honestly will never do what they did to me. I know the TRUE meaning of friendship but it takes a special person to have my true friendship. I just wanted to remove the tag "sister" with them in FACEBOOK and try to find a new set of friends who will never leave me no matter what. So I went home and ask my boyfriend to pick me up in Monumento (even if he was already in bed). He went to Monumento at 2 am and waited for me in a 7 11 store. I've realized that in the end, only those SINCERE people will be there for you and in hundreds of friends you'll meet there's only ONE who will do everything for you. I love you Baby! Thank you for being there when I'm scared and alone. Even though you're grumpy most of the time.. I love you still.

Secret # 19: Figure out what your goals and dreams are

I am not really the goal-oriented type of person. I do things randomly if I want to, and do not plan when I have to. I just like the spontaneity of fate. Isn't life a wonderland? Imagine you meet people along your journey, then these people will eventually change your life with their stories, and experiences. You didn't plan on meeting them but you met them anyway and they gave you either shits or bliss.

But one of the life's secrets is to figure out what your goals and dreams are. In my case, I do not have any ideas what are these. Maybe that's the reason why I sometimes get bored with what life offers me. I HONESTLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE. Maybe I just want to survive every god-given days. Pass my subjects, graduate on time, work, pay off bills, then work again, then quit job if unhappy. This is the routine everybody's following. I don't want to have that life. I don't want to be a robot of consumerism, materialism, capitalism, or whateverlism. I believe that people really have no choice on the path of their lives, they thought having a job then earning money is the ordinary thing to do. Well, I don't want to be part of that culture. I may have not planned my life but hey, there's a reason why the word surprise was formed. Maybe goals are important in one's life but I don't want to write it down because I might end up chasing it then forget what I am missing along the way.

I found love in a hopeless place

I got the hang of not sleeping for thesis. I can't sleep! I feel like if I sleep I'm not accomplishing anything even if I've already done my part. I suddenly miss my boyfriend. Even though we see each other a lot, and my house is just one ride away from his, I suddenly had this "miss" for him. Maybe it's because defense is just around the corner, and after defense comes graduation, and next to graduation is my flight to Hong Kong. I'll be away from him. The thought of not being together when wanting to spend is excruciating. He's really a special person, and he had proven it a lot of times. We've been together for 3 years, and it's not enough.. I want to spend more years with him! If God forbid, a lifetime.

When things get rough, I sail away

In 20 years of existence half of it was unsupervised by my parents. I grew up with my relatives, with my siblings, and with a maid to fill in our parent's absence. I understand that they have to earn to provide us a life better than what they had. I get that part. But the distance between us grew, as I grew up. What I don't understand is how it happened? I just know that some point in our lives, all of us stopped caring.

Thought on Vampire Diaries

I'm really excited for the mid-season finale tomorrow. This season was entitled The Year of the Originals. More of Klaus, Elijah, Rebekah, and of course the vampire who hunts vampires (who I think is the strongest) Mikael.

Everything means nothing, if I ain't got you.